at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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