After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
