life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
