Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You're like the curious george of whores
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
