Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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