You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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