Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
