couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have aggressive nipples.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
