I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
