Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
