he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
