my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Found your dick twin last night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
