I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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