Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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