this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
