Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Boobs are out for the taking
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
