Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
