me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
