I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We were destined to go to rehab together
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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