You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
