lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
