Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
