WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
