Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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