i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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