so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
