why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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