I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
