Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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