I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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