I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This girl is more easily done than said...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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