Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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