Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
