That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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