I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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