guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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