There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think your dad took our porno
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
