Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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