i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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