Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
