We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
