pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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