I think I am morally bankrupt
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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