using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
