It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
