i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
