do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
