Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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