He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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