I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
