Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
