i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
