so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
