Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
