Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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