could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
