I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm always down for nudity.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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