is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
