Already got asked if we're dating
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
