She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
